I’ve really learned that relationships can make and break a person. Some build you into this perfect pet. You become the puppet to your master in the relationship. Or you become the master of your personal puppet. My biggest problem in life…I let people walk all over me. Always have. In a relationship, it will ruin you to let that happen. I am the type of person that wants so badly to be “the perfect girlfriend”. To be the one that isn’t the crazy bitch. The one that he brags about. But when your feelings start to catch up with you, you realize that you can’t take it anymore. Crazy bitch or not, when you love someone, the littlest things they do against you can hurt monumentally. I find it so hard to show someone when they’ve hurt me. How do you show someone they were wrong when they refuse to believe they could ever be wrong. Leaving them is too much. I don’t want to give up because it would hurt so much. But being with them in times of struggle hurts just as much, if not, more. Remember when I said this is going to get personal? This is my way of cutting open my own mind and letting the thoughts bleed out. Feedback from a total stranger is strangely comforting. Pun intended! Basically, relationships come down to DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON’T!
About a little over a year ago i deleted my facebook account. I didn’t have anything else like a twitter or instagram. I was social network free, and let me tell you, IT FELT AMAZING! I didn’t have to worry about how many friends I had, i didn’t have to worry about how many likes i got on my status or my photo. And the biggest thing of all, I didn’t have to obsess over my boyfriends profile and who was talking to him. Even better was that my boyfriend had agreed to also delete his facebook. Our relationship couldn’t have been better. No worries, no paranoid feelings, nothing. But then he got a twitter. And i didn’t have one. But i could easily google his twitter and view it. So i did. And once again i had something to worry about. Something he had that i didn’t and it made me constantly paranoid. So just 3 days ago i decided to get a twitter. It felt nice to reconnect with old friends and hear people tell me they miss me. But in just 3 days, that stupid website made me and my boyfriend fight so much over probably the most ridiculous things ever known to be fought about. Also once again, i found myself obsessing over every girl that he talked to or followed. It is just so unhealthy for anyone to be subjected to that. This is why in todays society, women are so obsessed with their appearance. Because everyone edits their pictures to make them look like a perfect flawless version of themselves, and women aim to look like that in real life. Well news flash ladies… ITS NOT POSSIBLE! You cant airbrush your face in real life. Or edit every flaw. You can however develop eating disorders, wear 10 pounds of makeup, and get plastic surgery… But why can’t you just be happy with who you are? Is it that hard to just let go of the social networking and actually socialize with people face to face? My social life was 10 times better when i had no facebook or twitter. Anyways, I already deleted my twitter after 3 days, and i couldn’t be more happy. If anyone is doing anything wrong that affects me, then i will eventually find out. If i am meant to. I’m done searching for reasons to be unhappy.
Let me tell you something about a woman. If you are a man, this is something you need to learn. If you are a woman, this is something you already know but probably deny… Women are complicated beings made up of the same general components as men. The body, the hair, the face, the need for food, the brain, the ability to live or die. But women are also made up of one entirely separate component… Emotions. Yes, men have emotions, but theirs generally fit inside their brains. Women’s emotions like to cover their entire body. We dont just feel pain, we also feel sadness when we are hurt. You call a woman ugly and she has this magic ability to not only hear what you have said, but turn your one word into an entire lifetime of insecurities! There are key words to avoid. like “you look fine.” or “You have a nice huge ass” or even something as simple as “I like it no matter what you do.”… You’ve gotta tell women what they want to hear. You think we want the truth? HELL NO. Don’t tell me that the girl next to me probably looks better naked than i do! Those words are a death wish! Cut us some slack, we don’t know why we act this way. And there are some women, like myself, who are very good at hiding these feelings. Instead of taking them out on our men, women like me just sit and over analyze everything on our own. Men, we get it, you don’t know why you do the pointless stupid things that you do. Neither do we! So understand that when we get mad at you for following that random whore on twitter that lives in a different state than you and you’ve never even met, yeah, that pisses us off a little. IT MAKES US JEALOUS!! Even if we don’t have any intention of being a whore, we still would like to think that are men don’t respect that. and DO respect us enough not to chase them. I don’t have any sort of social networking profile, except for this blog, because Those types of websites annoy me. They made me someone i hated. I hated when girls would post pictures of themselves in slutty poses and feel better about themselves when guys commented on them or they got 1000000 likes. So i deleted it all! But don’t think i don’t check up on my boyfriends twitter! I’d be crazy not to! All i am saying is, all girls get jealous. Even the ones who make a living for just simply being sexy. Sometimes, they get jealous of the beautiful women who have self respect. ITS JUST THE WAY LIFE WORKS. Even men get jealous. Its a nasty disease. And no one is immune. 😛
There is something I just NEED to get off my chest. Something that bothers me more than just about anything in the world. Superficial women. Lets get one thing straight. I am anything but a fake, plastic, vanity obsessed, “skank”. to put it irrasionaly. But you know what kills me? Men want a beautiful, funny, smart, charismatic, honest, loving, perfect woman. Right? But even when they have her, they still drool over the fake, materialistic, makeup covered, photoshoped, skanks. What do you think this does to their perfect prized woman that the already have? It makes her want to become the fake skank her man is drooling over. And then guess what?!! THEN HE DOESN’T WANT HER ANYMORE!! How does that work?! Do you men expect us women to just be your perfect woman and allow you to drool over the superficially pretty one too?! Be careful. One day there will be no more real women. Just superficial, bimbos swimming in self tanner and makeup. You men cant have your cake and eat it too!