Being numb…

Sometimes things happen we never thought could or would. Though I am still naive enough to think I finally have it all figured out every time.  I just can’t quite seem to grasp people’s motives for the stupid things they do anymore. I like having the mentality that there is good in everyone, but it is not easy to think that way when everyone is so good at proving me wrong. Have you ever heard anyone say, “they mean well though…”… Do they? Can someone mean well when what they have done meant all but well? Have you ever wanted to just grab someone by the shoulders and shake them and yell “WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN SOMETHING SO PERFECT?!”.. The title of this post, it is what it is. It is being numb. The king of all emotions. The hurricane of every emotion inside of you mixing together and destroying the person it consumes. I am lost in my own mind. Do you know someone who is a genuinely amazing good person, and they get dealt the shittiest hand, yet they stay strong.. Even stronger than your self. I do. I think we all do. Someone please tell me why we don’t know what we have until it is gone. Don’t worry, i am not depressed. I am a generally happy person, but a happy person with TOO MUCH on her mind. Good night<3

The infamous question…

NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE?! … I seem to have an ongoing problem with forgetting how young 18 really is. I mean, I just finished high school a year ago and already i feel like I have fallen behind in starting a career for the rest of my life….Side Note: Taking a year off before starting college = BAD IDEA… Acting has been a life dream since i was 10 years old, but the process is just a ton of waiting, being patient, auditioning, small jobs here and there, and continuous testing of whether or not you have the patience to keep it up. Don’t get me wrong, I have not and will not give up. But i can’t just count on the possibility of making a promising career out of acting to get me by. I want to go to college for business administration and get a bachelors in science of marketing. Dream #2…. A job at BGT Partners in the department of strategy and analytics. Is it unrealistic to want to do everything? Travel, acting, marketing, entrepreneur, be a part of an organization that lets me see a side of the world us americans are oblivious to… There is so much to do in this world yet its almost as if the first step to doing so is just nonexistent. I wish there was a “How to do everything, for dummies” book. That is why this blog exists. It is my motivation. I want to be able to post 5 years from now and maybe be in a couple movies, have started my internship at BGT, have my name in a charity, and anything else on my bucket list. Whatever the dream may be, I don’t want to quit just solely based on the fear of people criticizing my ability to accomplish these things. And believe me when I say I won’t quit for that reason, and I will get these things done.